Technology And Relationship

Adjusting to some form of new
technology is nothing new.
Electricity, automobiles,
telephones, radio, television,
computers, and many other new
inventions sparked significant
changes in our culture and in the
way we related to our spouses,
our children, and our friends.
We've seen the emergence of the
internet and of mobile phones,
and then the convergence of the
two. We can now be plugged in
wherever we are, 24/7. The
technology is evolving so quickly
that most of us are barely aware
of how our behavior is changing
and our relationships are
affected. As one reader wrote
after I addressed this issue a
couple months ago in a series of
Marriage Memo e-mails, "These
mobile devices can take over
your life." Another said, "I
understand technology has its
advantages, but we are being
ruled by the technology rather
than using it as a tool."
A lot of people were dismayed at
how addiction to the new
technology was affecting their
marriages. For example: "I'm
usually the spouse waiting for
my husband to get off the cell,
iPad, instagram, text messaging,
Facebook, or some other game
that has him hooked. I'm tired of
having my conversations
through text messages and
would enjoy an old-fashioned
conversation face-to-face. But the
truth is we barely have anything
to say to each other anymore."
"My husband and I have
struggled for the last 25 years of
our marriage with conversation,
but what has happened now is
Facebook has taken over. If
dinner isn't ready when he
comes home, he's on Facebook
until it is. Every morning he gets
up and hits Facebook to see
who's been on. Sadly he does not
see it as an issue. And I fear I am
not alone in this."